It takes guts to live life by your rules

It feels like we are often fighting an unending balance between what is expected of us and what we want to truly do. It’s a war between cultural traditions with all the expectations to go with it and the desire to break the status quo and reach higher. Why?

From the time we are born we are learning. We learn from our parents, then most of us are put into an educational system that churns out exactly what they think the future holds — which is exactly what they were told the community needs. It’s all for the greater good of the community.

Education either functions as an instrument which is used to facilitate integration of the younger generation into the logic of the present system and bring about conformity or it becomes the practice of freedom, the means by which men and women deal critically and creatively with reality and discover how to participate in the transformation of their world.

Paulo Freire, Pedagogy of the Oppressed

Cruel, yes, but it’s something that needs to be said. After all, its our society’s game, and understanding how the game is played is the only way you can win it. This applies to any society, whether you are in the African bush without electricity for days on end, the sprawl of New York, or the dependable, but sleepy life of rural anywhere. It’s what needs to be said because we need to stop hiding from reality and the truth of the double-edged sword that is education. It can, and often does, indoctrinate people into the wider view of society. Those that don’t conform are ridiculed along every step of the way. Everything from getting into trouble at school, being bullied by their peers, and be scolded by well-meaning parents.

courage-mandelaAnd yet, we can’t deny how uncomfortable that statement, and it’s implication makes us. That’s because it takes guts to see both sides of the story. Ash Ambirge explains why,

As sheeple, we naturally resist anything that doesn’t align with our current worldview, because it threatens everything. Our stability. Our knowledge. Our perspectives. Our intelligence. Everything we know. And that pisses us off, because it scares us to the core. It shatters our whole notion of reality. And when that happens, it shatters us. So in an attempt to self-protect, we resist—stubbornly, and against all rationale and proof and facts and at least four cleverly designed pie charts.

Instead of allowing yourself to become a helpless victim to the whims of the economy, waiting for someone to give you something (dependent on others), it’s time to grab a spare set, take the matter into your own hands, and go create something (dependent on yourself). Ash Ambirge, You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts.

Now, as an adult exploring alternative paths to travel the rest of your lives, you are overwhelmed with ideas and fears.

What if you fail? What if you get sick and get trapped in a shoddy place on your travel? What if it doesn’t work out and you’ve wasted time?

What if you never tried in the first place?

Courage is knowing what you go in with, knowing what you stand to lose, and doing it anyway. It is a terrifying prospect when you’re standing on the precipice of decisions. Not doing what’s expected of you means that you could loose time, money, reputation, family, friends, and much more. It can be staggering what you can lose if you’re not careful. With courage you can take the steps to work around those giant pitfalls to a better life.

Instead of “taking a leap” as they like to say, build a bridge from where you are now and where you want to be. Be compassionate for yourself, your community, family, friends, and your personal team of cheerleaders. Work with them to build the bridge instead of taking the leap alone. It means that when you do fail — and you will eventually — it doesn’t hurt as much. You will be able to reflect back on it, use it as a lesson, and move on.

quote1Dig down deep for your strength. Having guts to do something unexpected is about having an inner strength that helps you calm your nerves for yourself and your future. It takes a lot of inner strength to overcome the doubt and fears. It takes courage to work through the rough patches, and keep going along. It’s for yourself, your community, your team, and not just your family, but your team’s families as well. You know, no pressure or anything.

When you realise this fact, you’ll likely freeze up, wish you hadn’t started on the path, and a probably a few other choice things you’d be ashamed to admit out loud, let alone brag to your mother about. Starting and pushing through to whatever end takes courage. Especially if that end is not what you planned to begin with.

This courage, though, is supported by knowledge each step forward you take. This is when you can keep moving forward to those dreams.