Forgive me for not sugar-coating reality, but running an alt-path is more difficult than you might imagine — doubly so when you set out to do it purposefully.

Why?

Click through to take a look at an amazing group of photos of a man doing amazing things. [from the Volakis Gallery]

It’s because it’s not the “normal” path, and often people will question you. They will question why you’re doing something, how you’re doing something, make constant recommendations and give you unwanted (but well-meaning) advice on how to solve a problem you’re having. For example, most people I know in the research field have a lot of student debt that weighs on us, burdening us with guilt every time we think about doing what we love, rather than what we have to pay the bills. Our own guilt about these guillotines above our necks, and our family’s well-meaning offers for “how you can eliminate your debt” may be more than you can bear.

The thing you have to come to terms with is that it’s your life to make the most of in any way you can. I’ve learnt the hard way that this includes gracefully accepting unwanted advice, even if you don’t take action on it. It also includes the harsher point of working for yourself and working for someone else at the same time. Here are some tips for finding your own constitution when things get rough and you feel like giving up.

1. Take one day at a time. Often times my clients have a better perspective on things when they focus one day at a time, rather than the bigger picture all at once. This works because they are thinking about the good things they like about each part of their life, which usually include a day job working for someone else or toiling away in the lab, a side consulting business, and a demanding family. When they give themselves permission to enjoy the passage of time and the little things that come up along the way, rather than fretting about this or that, they also enjoy the little things more fully.
2. Embrace hardships. It might seem odd, but embrace those hardships so you can see them with clarity. When my clients do this, they often sense a greater sense of peace just from knowing what it is they need to conquer. Then, they take it one step further and develop a plan to take action on the hardships and chip away at the problem one step at a time.The simple matter of fully embracing hardships and then laying out an actionable plan to overcome it gives you the willpower you need to keep moving forward, even when you don’t want to.
3. Focus on your health. When your body is healthy, you are more capable of doing things that are much more difficult, like being civil when your mother asks you for the umpteenth time about your progress on taking her advice to solve such and such a problem you regret ranting to her about. Not to mention you’ll be better able to handle the stresses, thus eliminating the need to rant to your mother about it again in the future. This health focus is as simple as making healthier choices and going to the gym a few times a week, so don’t worry about turning into a huge gym rat just to keep your sanity.
4. Visit the Burnout Specialist. If there is one person that is great at living a double life and teaching others to as well, it’s Ben Fanning, the Burnout Specialist. His blog is chuck full of inspiration on pulling through yet another day before you get to put on the superhero costume and live your double life. You’ll find quite a bit of useful tidbits on overcoming that “ugh” feeling you have some mornings when you know you have a lot of lab work to do at your Day Job, but an antsy client waiting for your results from your double life.
5. Tap into your creative side. Everyone has a creative streak that makes us feel a little more relaxed. Remember what it used to be like to not stare anxiously at the lab bench and wait for the results, only to run around doing other things? Tapping into your curiosity and creativity feels like that again. By finding a way to spend time on these endeavours once a week, you’ll stay fresh longer for both your double life.

There are many other ways to deal with self-doubt. What are your favourite ways?

Feature image also by Misha Gordon from the Shout Collection.