Part of the reason this blog was created was to give Insanitekians and the public more insight to myself. I got away from that in some fashion because I wanted to give people more useful information. However, when our PR department discovered what I was up to, they pointed it out and begged me to be more transparently human. (Does this mean I was trying to look like a demi-god before?) So, I promised them, as well as myself, that I would check in at the end of the month to give a non-glossy, down and dirty view of the inside of what’s going on here at Insanitek and my personal chaos.

Starting now.

Except, you know, I don’t really know what to tell you. Lately I’ve been training every day to get in shape. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been doing this, but I hadn’t been true to my goals or myself. I let health slip by the way-side as I crashed through the summer. It was two weeks ago when I managed to shake off the bullshit and work out twice a week.

I thought that was pretty good for a while — but then I noticed the obvious. I felt better the entire day when I exercised. I only pushed myself for 30 minutes, but boxing full steam a head for 30 minutes made me feel amazing the rest of the day. I had more energy, more strength in both body and mind, and I felt like I really could take on anything.

So I did.

Instead of arranging to quit my day job at Rosie’s, I am still there three days a week. I homeschool two lovely boys the other days, teach at Kaplan College (environmental sciences), and tutor on my evenings off. Yes, all of this on top of moving Insanitek along at a clip I can barely keep up with. (More on those updates later when they are finalised.)

What was I thinking?!

Clearly, this sort of workload is unsustainable for the long run with the wrong mindset. Immediately after I started training at Kaplan I felt like I did something stupid. I felt like I overloaded my plate again. The thing is, I did.

Uh-huh. How long could you keep up a schedule like that? I have to keep this up for 10 weeks, then the term is up at Kaplan and I have a 20 week break until the next round of students is ready for my class. Then, they promised me it would be more steady at 10 weeks on, one week off until I decide to throw in the towel.

Notice, I said “with the wrong mindset”?

The wrong mindset is exactly what I put down above. There is no such thing as “unsustainable” when you choose to do it. Nothing is forcing me to work at Rosie’s. I will actually be making more money at Kaplan, plus the tutoring and homeschooling gigs on top of it make it unmistakably a good deal. Staying there is a choice, even when the weather is hot, muggy and gives me nothing to look forward to. I choose to work there because I not only enjoy the people and the environment, but I want to use the paycheck to pay off student loans.

This “I choose” mindset empowers to such a way that it changes everything. It changed my mindset from “I should workout”, which is filled with such dread and longing to do anything else (most preferably sleep in my case) to an activity that is my choice, my design, and within my control. I choose to get strong and healthy.

What do you choose to do? Tell me in the comments.